jonny2x4

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jonny2x4

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17205
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:02am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:10am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:02pm<b>takenusername628</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:27pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:35am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:50am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:07pm<b>wintersoldier</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 1:47pm<b>LingRay</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:01am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Dangerousreaper</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:58pm<b>ShutUp007</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:25pm<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:02am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:25pm<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:46am

Fucked!<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:02am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:50pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:47am

jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

by man2 / 09/23/2010 at 7:18am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Geek

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 7:36am / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

by locker / 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

by locker / 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health