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jonny2x4

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jonny2x4
  • Town/Country : The Cul de sac, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12130
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's last visitors

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jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (5112)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (23859)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (9383)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (3442)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

#13506521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

#13439777
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

#13439777
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

#13439564
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (8882)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by ahddib - United States (Alabama)

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (2368)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (1967)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (34367)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (4004)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (4186)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States



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