About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.
BTW, was she hot?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (3986)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (18574)
On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36584) - you deserved it (8695)
On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (2681)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (3509)
On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States
I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (4243)
On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8167) - you deserved it (25898)
On 10/16/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Triumvirate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2909)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2909)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (7094)
On 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by ahddib - United States (Alabama)
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (1942)
On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you deserved it (1951)
On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9475) - you deserved it (25627)
On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (3295)
On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (3384)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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