jonny2x4

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jonny2x4

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18738
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 3:30am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 8:51pm<b>steam_engenius</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:54am<b>Kalilahshmeow</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:23pm<b>OmniSomni</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:12pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 8:51pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:02am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:10am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:02pm<b>takenusername628</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:27pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:35am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:50am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:07pm<b>wintersoldier</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 1:47pm<b>LingRay</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:01am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:22am

Fucked!<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:02am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:50pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:47am

jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV / 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

by John / 11/07/2009 at 11:04am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that whore." FML

by PISSED / 11/07/2009 at 6:58am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

by munnyfish / 11/07/2009 at 2:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

by dumper / 11/05/2009 at 1:41am / United States / Love

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

by BlackCheetah101 / 11/04/2009 at 1:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

by dishwasherforlife / 11/04/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

by Anon / 10/31/2009 at 7:08am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

by frustrated / 10/30/2009 at 12:17am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

by bubblensuds1 / 10/28/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

by timmynotjimmy / 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

by laxie / 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

by Geez / 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy