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jonny2x4

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jonny2x4
  • Town/Country : The Cul de sac, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12081
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's last visitors

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jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38838) - you deserved it (2926)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52471) - you deserved it (9843)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (5720)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (48713)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML

#13946366
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (2376)

On 11/23/2010 at 4:32am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (7381)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (51582)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (11921)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38140) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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