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jonny2x4

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jonny2x4
  • Town/Country : The Cul de sac, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12071
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's last visitors

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jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (38463)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (2334)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (3881)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML

#9183283
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9763) - you deserved it (25614)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:30am - misc - by ihateyouatt (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom walked me to school to make sure I don't cut class. I'm 20 years old. FML

#9169720
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (9981)

On 03/17/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by My mom - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (3974)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (4856)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (2196)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (3918)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (3918)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (6245)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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