Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonny2x4

Search for a member

jonny2x4

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13994
  • Number of comments : 900
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jonny2x4 : Hi my name is Jonny. I live in a cul de sac in the suburbs of California. I may have an inanimate piece of wood for a friend, but I always keep it real. My brand of honesty you wouldn't get from anyone else.

BTW, was she hot?

jonny2x4's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:06am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:47pm<b>crazyman721</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:10pm<b>CRAZYCOW777</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:32pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:50am<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:32pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:10am<b>fledgy12</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:47pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:52pm<b>SleepWalkingPro</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:34am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:58am<b>alexmisty88</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:21pm<b>annamaria55555</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:19pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:14pm<b>Xeebar</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Thatchickah</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:41pm

Liked!<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:47am

jonny2x4's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonny2x4's favorite FMLs

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (4271)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (3580)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML

#15262528
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36061) - you deserved it (8570)

On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

#15165493
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12937) - you deserved it (36262)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm - health - by Baileyy - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

#15156142
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (15047)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by handyjon - United States

Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML

#15150765
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (2492)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (37084)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (3794)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (8935)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

#15087427
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9166) - you deserved it (37761)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

#15036556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (6252)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Username - China

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (8028)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (10835)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (7699)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (3681)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: