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jonjon777

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jonjon777

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jonjon777's favorite FMLs

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (21226)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

#18595788
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (2010)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by treeless - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (4291)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

#18057227
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by charlotte9338 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (24609)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (3612)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

#16947329
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (7161)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:06am - love - by fthislyfe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13675) - you deserved it (47951)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (7850)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (38478)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36311) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (8104)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (3388)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -



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