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jonjon777

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jonjon777

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jonjon777's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

#19928719
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (6036)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (5156)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (38601)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (4216)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (1976)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39394) - you deserved it (4545)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

#19334531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5982) - you deserved it (27738)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (6472)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

#19186705
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25821) - you deserved it (2136)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (27276)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (23443)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (27445)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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