jonchache

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jonchache

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  • Number of visits : 1185
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jonchache's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:42am<b>theflamezbegin</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 4:03pm<b>sudmanster</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 2:42pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 10:43pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm

jonchache's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jonchache's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

by Uriah / 07/03/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

by paprikarulz / 07/01/2009 at 6:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to print out a 100 page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this I picked a time where I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML

by Ayeya / 06/04/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

by anon / 06/04/2009 at 7:35am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 7:50pm / Brazil (Parana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

by chefdujour / 03/15/2009 at 12:56am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

by little tooth / 11/06/2008 at 8:39am / Health