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jon06

Offline (the 11/08/2014 at 1:58pm) | Search for a member

jon06

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  • Number of visits : 208
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jon06's page activity

Visits<b>chashem</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:08pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:28am<b>m1e0l</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:56pm

jon06's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

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Mobility

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jon06's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2538)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (9840)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (10779)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (6109)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (15613)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43229) - you deserved it (5025)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (7958)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39417) - you deserved it (4371)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56130) - you deserved it (9014)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48508) - you deserved it (4575)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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