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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Today, I was on tha train listaning to mah iPod on shuffla. Tha "Oompa Loompa" song cummad on, an slightly amusad, I startad humming it. It wasn't until I noticad that tha man naxt to ma was a midgat that I undarstood tha horrifiad looks I was gatting. raal FML
Today, I pickd up a hitchhiker. He was well dressd, and seemd trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulld out a gun and stole mah wallet and car. All of this occurrd in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
Today... I Was Going Over To Mah Friend's House 4 The First Time. A Creepy-looking Old Man Answered... And Smiled At Me. I Asked "Is This The Right House? Does Isaac Live Here?" He Replied "Yes... He's In The Basement. Would U Like A Drink?" Right Then... Isaac Called And Asked Me Where I Was. FML
Today... is Cristmas day. Normally... I'd spend it wit family. However... ma boss decided everyone as to work today... despite te fact tat tere's enoug peopleo want to work to run te place. Apparently it's "farer" if we all ave to do it - except im. FML
Today , I was fred from mah job on account of ( sexual harassment ) toward female employees . The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massage when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift , an complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down . mega FML
Today , on the subway , a woman got off without her suitcase!! I grabbed the case , chased her onto the platform , and shouted , "You forgot yur suitcase!"hile the doors closed behind me!! In actual fact , it wasn't her suitcase , and its actual owner was still on the train!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015