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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (2800)
On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (718)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (1564)
On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (36303)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3174)
On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (6971)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8637) - you deserved it (57276)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (5817)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40227) - you deserved it (2817)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (24020)
On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (1371)
On 12/25/2011 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2612)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (26516)
On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (2422)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)
Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (7235) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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