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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8822) - you deserved it (10775)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (3844)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (7529)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45184)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (38201)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (1425)
On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (4425)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (23227)
On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9406) - you deserved it (31482)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (38120)
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (5041)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41495)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (5042)
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6709) - you deserved it (47174)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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