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jokerzthe

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jokerzthe

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  • Number of visits : 1026
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jokerzthe's page activity

Visits<b>tepovre</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 11:14pm

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jokerzthe's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

#19813737
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2733)

On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (2702)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (2716)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (4790)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

#19796347
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (2525)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (4227)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48540) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (4392)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (22265)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (4467)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (2228)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (3405)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14691) - you deserved it (40060)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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