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john_bell

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john_bell
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3401
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About john_bell : Hi, I love you

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Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (20390)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (2628) - you deserved it (49097)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26634)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (5881)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (4360) - you deserved it (16111)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (5545)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (32414)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (19148)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (4365)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50099) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)



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