john_bell

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john_bell

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4429
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About john_bell : Hi, I love you

john_bell's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:13am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:45pm<b>cpullin2390</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:26am<b>metalscales</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:40am<b>Isak366</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:16am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:50pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:15am<b>davidmdavid</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:29am<b>mongorian_beef</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:00pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:38am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:37am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 4:28pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:13pm

john_bell's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

john_bell's favorite FMLs

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

by Shocked / 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

by notcool / 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

by Cup_of___ / 11/26/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

by OpenWide / 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

by pygmalion / 09/26/2009 at 6:39am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous