Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

john_bell

Search for a member

john_bell

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4032
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About john_bell : Hi, I love you

john_bell's page activity

Visits<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:50pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:15am<b>davidmdavid</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:29am<b>mongorian_beef</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:00pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 10:38am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 4:28pm

john_bell's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

john_bell's favorite FMLs

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8233) - you deserved it (30677)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (4013)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4682) - you deserved it (71194)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (39279)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (7946)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7167) - you deserved it (25810)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (7905)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11922) - you deserved it (45008)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (26892)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46928) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (4824)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45998) - you deserved it (5869)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47372) - you deserved it (7907)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60655) - you deserved it (13277)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: