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john

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john
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 11542
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About john : I'm a college student, a blogger, website developer and pretty average kid. I've definitely had my fare share of FML moments!

john's last visitors

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john's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

john's favorite FMLs

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55470) - you deserved it (17799)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (4544)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16134) - you deserved it (36396)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77148) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

#30954
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41216) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52708) - you deserved it (1889)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

#25767
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (6955)

On 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by dynomyte (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me. FML

#25739
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (2024)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by bm (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (420163)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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