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About joey11 : I'm Joey. I blog. I lifeguard. I hate insects, particularly those that fly. I am gay. I'm a trans hag (someone that surrounds themselves with transgender individuals, similar to a gag hag - a woman who surrounds herself by gay men.) I live in NYC. I want to live in buffalo. I hate children. I have a clown phobia. I am of the following countries:
Trinidad, Italy, Tunisia, brazil, France, Spain, England. That is all.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (7077)
On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (2714)
On 07/21/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by MICHAELTHEA (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53684) - you deserved it (1601)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64327) - you deserved it (3772)
On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (3745)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (4279)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80818) - you deserved it (8194)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (48849)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52888) - you deserved it (11424)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore
Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (10934)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13460) - you deserved it (38150)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94755) - you deserved it (7379)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54164) - you deserved it (6324)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by lifesux17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I put my hand into a vending machine to retrieve a bottle of water that was caught in the slot. After a minute, I realized I was trapped. 2 hours, 4 fire trucks, 3 police cars, and 1 ambulance later I was freed. The vending machine was in pieces and the bottle of water wasn't even for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (9267)
On 02/26/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by VenderBender (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any european guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51610) - you deserved it (4658)
On 02/26/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by bilol (woman) - United States (New York)
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