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jnibbles's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love
Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML
by Miki / 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
by anon / 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm / United States / Health
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
by GEE, THANKS DAD / 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
by disgusted / 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
by for_fs_sake / 09/21/2012 at 6:56am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous