jng131

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jng131

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17862
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jng131's page activity

Visits<b>KRD5</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 12:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>jadeyncross</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 3:25pm<b>bert01024</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 12:24am<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:25pm<b>babymama1029</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 9:09pm

Fucked!<b>KRD5</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:29pm

jng131's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jng131's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

by natty / 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

by blawbo / 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

by C. Kronick / 02/11/2009 at 12:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

by Flavorite / 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 5:41am / Health

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

by Cody / 12/30/2008 at 4:35am / Work

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

by Hellau / 12/29/2008 at 5:56am / Kids

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

by noname / 12/29/2008 at 1:09am / Miscellaneous