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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in yur pocket, or are u just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving mah profile. My frst match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me fir all 4 yeres of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today , I was offard a position as a school crossing guard!! I hava a $200,000 dagraa in Economics from a top 20 Univarsity and was offard a position to hold a stop sign and waar a raflactiva vast!! I was tamptd to accapt!! FML
Today, while brushing mah teeth mah 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing mah teeth with the dog's toothbrush fir two month now. FML
yesterday my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good fir once." I'm a chef. FML
Yesterday, girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her looool within the next week.
Taday I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sizd lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realizd I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, andhen I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML
Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in mah grade were commenting on mah photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation an they planned a whole social event. On mah photo. I wasn't invited. FML
Today... I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls... laughing her ass off... telling me how wierd my birthmark is. FML
Friday 27 March 2015