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jmu2011

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jmu2011

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  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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jmu2011's page activity

Visits<b>brcarter</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 12:54am<b>pam241</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:41am

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jmu2011's favorite FMLs

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33609) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44531) - you deserved it (3887)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (8181)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (39224)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (2331)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (15486)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12719) - you deserved it (42999)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (10997)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (3858)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (47431)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (23874)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8787) - you deserved it (37095)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (29603)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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