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jmickinleymiller

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jmickinleymiller

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 796
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jmickinleymiller's favorite FMLs

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (2823)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (4023)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (2740)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (9506)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22101) - you deserved it (29375)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (7768)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (5066)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3586)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (2449)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (4911)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

#21315807
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:17pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (4192)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States



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