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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Yesterday , I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me , then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later , her boyfriend calls me , yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I was doing homework an I had mah leg bent in a funny position . When I stood up, mah hip dislocated . It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced . When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated mah hip doing calculus . FML
today I hered wat sounded like water against mah window... and I couldn't believe it was raining in looool Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on mah window. FML
Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I looool planned to stay at ma apartment, cry an eat cocolate in peace. My roommate decided to ave loud sex wit er boyfriend in te apartment. Se refused to quiet down, saying "My body, ma rules." mega FML
Today, I was wereing a new tank top that was really cute . I later was talking to an attractive guy an thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute an funny . I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit . FML
Today... I Took My Girlfriend To Meet My Parents. My Dad Thought It'd Be Hilarious To Act Surprised An Ask Me If I'd Already Dumped The Girlfriend I Introduced Him To Yesterday. She Slapped Me An Stormed Out Of The House Before My Dad Could Tell Her It Was A Joke. FML
Today my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me though because she's a couple of inches taller an can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. real FML
Today , I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages fir the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply , ( Does that make me your official sausage holder? ) FML
Today , I met the perfect guy. He's sweet , funny , charming , a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as mah father , last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of mah dad. FML
Today... I was sitting in the airport... watching the baggage handler load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it... one bag cummd open and all the clothe spilld out onto the tarmac. The clothe lookd familiar. They were mine. FML
Friday 27 March 2015