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jman1324

Offline (the 02/04/2016 at 9:30pm) | Search for a member

jman1324

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 267
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jman1324's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:10pm<b>trevorr_16</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:44pm

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jman1324's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

#21520812
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (4059)

On 01/29/2016 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21790) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (17660)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

#21509323
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (2560)

On 12/30/2015 at 8:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

#21486017
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by qourt - United States

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

#21483523
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm - misc - by AlwaysAfraid (woman) - United States

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

#21478533
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12083) - you deserved it (41919)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (4903)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (1776)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (12261)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML



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