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jlt93

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jlt93

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 August 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jlt93's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30320) - you deserved it (2293)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (33138)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

#18038631
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (4389)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (2588)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3637)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3193)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (3783)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (3560)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47154) - you deserved it (4416)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (40270)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (6376)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)



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