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Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (3074)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:03pm - misc - by uncleaning (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (167561) - you deserved it (7612)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (6447)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51880) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (11426)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59288) - you deserved it (5092)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (8922)
On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51120) - you deserved it (2479)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (38514)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101312) - you deserved it (6284)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (6878)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178025) - you deserved it (25398)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178025) - you deserved it (25398)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (8646)
On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (3004)
On 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by bryans_fresh (man) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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