Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jiequals3

Search for a member

jiequals3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14789
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jiequals3 : “Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!”

-- Theodore Roosevelt

jiequals3's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:14am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:38pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:44am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:47pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:45pm<b>RpiesSPIES</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 9:35pm<b>jedi012</b> - the 02/15/2010 at 4:27pm<b>littlehowl</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 11:11am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 4:00pm<b>milkaxlushh</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 2:30am<b>ilikeboys</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 6:33pm<b>ha</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 5:12pm<b>rarelight</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:41pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 10:28pm<b>crazy12</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 8:43pm<b>hobsta</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 8:43pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 7:11pm

jiequals3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jiequals3's favorite FMLs

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45339) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (47901)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75395) - you deserved it (6510)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (78374)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8089) - you deserved it (77374)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76918) - you deserved it (23431)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138999) - you deserved it (14125)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

#1747216
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76706) - you deserved it (4210)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by WonderWall09 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (7117)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

#1741701
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18201) - you deserved it (42516)

On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

#1738552
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49206) - you deserved it (6241)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55416) - you deserved it (4288)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (6475)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87596) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (140103)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: