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jiequals3

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jiequals3
  • Town/Country : Huntsville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 14206
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jiequals3 : “Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!”

-- Theodore Roosevelt

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jiequals3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (56625)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87995) - you deserved it (26169)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

#853459
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53649) - you deserved it (6849)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53501) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (43370)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

#754264
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53980) - you deserved it (10140)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213669) - you deserved it (73280)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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