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jh1ll1999's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML
by benoit / 03/15/2013 at 8:35am / France / Work
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm / Latvia (Aluksnes) / Holidays
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a…