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jff1998

Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 6:11am) | Search for a member

jff1998

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1032
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jff1998 : Hey how's it goin my names Julian i am 996 years young and love cereal I have a pet unicorn named megatron an we break through the different dimensions using his multidimensional horn-drill I live in the dimension of Turtleland an im in love with my special girl Mary Jane ;D anyways thanks for checking out my bio and maybe have a look at my Youtube Channel (OblivionRenegade) should be uploading shortly and have a great day also feel free to message me anytime.

jff1998's page activity

Visits<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:46pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:58am<b>KandyK16</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 5:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 7:21pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 11:21am<b>DWynter</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:29pm<b>mrsVoltzie57</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:06am

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jff1998's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (4692)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (4649)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (3807)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (7511)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (63773)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (14669)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (3851)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (12114)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (7765)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49801) - you deserved it (6392)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56117) - you deserved it (3749)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States



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