About jff1998 : Hey how's it goin my names Julian i am 996 years young and love cereal I have a pet unicorn named megatron an we break through the different dimensions using his multidimensional horn-drill I live in the dimension of Turtleland an im in love with my special girl Mary Jane ;D anyways thanks for checking out my bio and maybe have a look at my Youtube Channel (OblivionRenegade) should be uploading shortly and have a great day also feel free to message me anytime.
jff1998's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
jff1998's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
by unlovedandunfucked / 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by thatsnice / 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by lovethateuropeanblood / 12/08/2014 at 9:12am / Japan (Osaka) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML
by Anonymous S'wit / 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm / Portugal / Health
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by BreakingTheMood / 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…