jff1998

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Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 6:24am)

jff1998

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jff1998 : Hey how's it goin my names Julian i am 996 years young and love cereal I have a pet unicorn named megatron an we break through the different dimensions using his multidimensional horn-drill I live in the dimension of Turtleland an im in love with my special girl Mary Jane ;D anyways thanks for checking out my bio and maybe have a look at my Youtube Channel (OblivionRenegade) should be uploading shortly and have a great day also feel free to message me anytime.

jff1998's page activity

Visits<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:46pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:58am<b>KandyK16</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 5:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 7:21pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 11:21am<b>DWynter</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:29pm<b>mrsVoltzie57</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:06am

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jff1998's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

by Anon / 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

by unlovedandunfucked / 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

by thatsnice / 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

by lovethateuropeanblood / 12/08/2014 at 9:12am / Japan (Osaka) / Love

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm / Kids

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

by analgirl / 11/09/2014 at 8:31am / Love

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

by Anonymous S'wit / 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm / Portugal / Health

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

by BreakingTheMood / 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work