Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jesymarie

Search for a member

jesymarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 November 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 75
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jesymarie : RAWR ;-;

jesymarie's page activity

Visits<b>Spankmymonkeylol</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:52pm

jesymarie's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jesymarie's badges

jesymarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (6008)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (13543)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (3605)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15644) - you deserved it (25376)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62427) - you deserved it (5032)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (1777)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (4562)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64427) - you deserved it (4716)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14005) - you deserved it (99844)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: