Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessycurrrrrrr

Online | Search for a member

jessycurrrrrrr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessycurrrrrrr : I'm a cat lover going to school to be a brain doctor. Purrfect :3

jessycurrrrrrr's page activity

Visits<b>sassypenguinxox</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:21pm<b>frankhobz</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:54pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:34pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:07pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:37am

jessycurrrrrrr's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jessycurrrrrrr's badges

jessycurrrrrrr's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (17306)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

#19501133
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (20716)

On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (17861)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (9141)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (5097)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

#18062520
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45312) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14288) - you deserved it (39513)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (15037)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (9626)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9131) - you deserved it (35636)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (10003)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51159) - you deserved it (9837)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37582) - you deserved it (9713)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: