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jessssxo

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jessssxo
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 13311
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessssxo : I'm Jessica.

jessssxo's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessssxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25560) - you deserved it (57136)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92125) - you deserved it (42633)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (51018)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
155 comments

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16225) - you deserved it (45895)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106747) - you deserved it (11163)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

#125305
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35384) - you deserved it (5263)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55223) - you deserved it (6560)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43692) - you deserved it (10843)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (7686)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213610) - you deserved it (73280)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37339) - you deserved it (8112)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)



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