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jessssxo

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jessssxo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13535
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessssxo : I'm Jessica.

jessssxo's page activity

Visits<b>ugh1stworldprobs</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:44pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>JJ_V3N0M</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:42am<b>heneryo</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:03am<b>therosalina</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:43pm<b>bennettchester19</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:35am<b>m3b4u</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:25pm<b>drumguy218</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:57am<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Pandaz7</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:49pm<b>martonem</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:45am<b>Bigbubba41</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:57pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:43am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:24am<b>caboose0904</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:42pm

jessssxo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessssxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90338) - you deserved it (7346)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45469) - you deserved it (21148)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (79665)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98770) - you deserved it (15026)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (50912)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165550) - you deserved it (8461)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67393) - you deserved it (19905)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65230) - you deserved it (8531)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67266) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55269) - you deserved it (8875)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351026) - you deserved it (38713)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101381) - you deserved it (5273)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)



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