Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessssxo

Search for a member

jessssxo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13598
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessssxo : I'm Jessica.

jessssxo's page activity

Visits<b>CookieStealer</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:32am<b>Faackzy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:52pm<b>kuzoe</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:28am<b>NegativeAttitude</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:21am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:31pm<b>bobmcbobert</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:40pm<b>ugh1stworldprobs</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:44pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>JJ_V3N0M</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:42am<b>therosalina</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:43pm<b>bennettchester19</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:35am<b>m3b4u</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:25pm<b>drumguy218</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:57am<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Pandaz7</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:49pm

jessssxo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessssxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10126) - you deserved it (70223)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

#1284029
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (14992)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

#1283810
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63349) - you deserved it (3433)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17861) - you deserved it (49888)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (26735)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (83779)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92623) - you deserved it (17347)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78632) - you deserved it (5345)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59714) - you deserved it (6199)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55291) - you deserved it (5161)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54435) - you deserved it (17995)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (93055)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (4755)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: