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jessssxo

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jessssxo
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 13312
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessssxo : I'm Jessica.

jessssxo's last visitors

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jessssxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8267) - you deserved it (54355)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

#1284029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (11374)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

#1283810
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59764) - you deserved it (3146)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (48066)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (21042)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (80253)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86544) - you deserved it (15925)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69804) - you deserved it (3963)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57720) - you deserved it (5972)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52562) - you deserved it (4874)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51646) - you deserved it (17083)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (90455)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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