jessssxo

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jessssxo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14413
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessssxo : I'm Jessica.

jessssxo's page activity

Visits<b>taylor_raee</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 8:17pm<b>maalmawr</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 10:35pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:43am<b>racerboy102</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:15am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 12:56pm<b>Wubzo</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:37pm<b>streetdog</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:04pm<b>tropicolo</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:47am<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:16am<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:41pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:42pm<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:59am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:42am<b>jake131000</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:00pm<b>DarkLevi</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:29am<b>PedoHero69</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:55am<b>Diachronic</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:05am

jessssxo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessssxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

by boo / 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

by Brook363 / 05/27/2009 at 11:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

by hipthrustdude / 05/18/2009 at 8:04am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

by itswhateverr / 05/03/2009 at 12:16am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

by mylove / 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

by fuckspellcheck / 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

by ewwww / 04/27/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

by bdutton / 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.