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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jessicaax

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jessicaax
  • Town/Country : United States of America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jessicaax : Just here to have funn. Ignorant people can leave now.

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jessicaax's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (3975) - you deserved it (680)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (3708) - you deserved it (5437)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (1453)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (10861)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (40799) - you deserved it (2375)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (3447)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (6649)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589 (330)

I agree, your life sucks (58312) - you deserved it (2527)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

#16265806 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (1965)

On 05/20/2011 at 11:17am - health - by kekeroos (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (9650) - you deserved it (31193)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (10675)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (44140)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML

#16092299 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (21661)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554 (737)

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (58914)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (21506)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)