jessherself13

Search for a member

jessherself13

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6993
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.

jessherself13's page activity

Visits<b>EevieBear</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 8:28pm<b>PinkaLotaPoka</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 4:25am<b>10220706</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:42pm<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:17am<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:16pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:03pm<b>fkingshit</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:37am<b>sammie2new</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:59am<b>aiw14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:15am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:23am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:48pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:17pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56pm

Fucked!<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:17am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Aurokai</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:13am<b>KaitTheBarber</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:15am

jessherself13's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of jessherself13's badges

jessherself13's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

by ronnieG / 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

by Auroraen / 06/27/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

by lehonj49 / 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML