jessherself13

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jessherself13

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6388
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.

jessherself13's page activity

Visits<b>10220706</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:01am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:42pm<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:17am<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:16pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:03pm<b>fkingshit</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:37am<b>sammie2new</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:59am<b>aiw14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:15am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:23am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:48pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:17pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Demon_of_Light</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:17am

Fucked!<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:17am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Aurokai</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:13am<b>KaitTheBarber</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:15am

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jessherself13's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

by lax22 / 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

by Max / 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Love

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

by tiredofcrazy / 03/18/2014 at 5:14am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

by fucked / 03/14/2014 at 3:40pm / Canada / Work

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

by tayymeds / 03/12/2014 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids