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jessecax

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jessecax

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2871
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jessecax : I'm Jess. I'm loud and obnoxious. My mental filter is usually off. I make obscene gestures at people. You get used to it. I swear like a sailor. I'm generally outspoken, I don't care what anyone thinks about what I say. I think that's it. Penis.

jessecax's page activity

Visits<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:32pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:20pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:55pm<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:31pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:13pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:18pm<b>lilviking</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:46pm<b>mwhahahahahaha</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:03pm<b>ryanpmcg</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:23am<b>Goodliife</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:11am<b>mcdekree</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:30pm<b>michelleJ11</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 9:28pm<b>Miss_Swanky</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:54am<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:48pm<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:06pm

jessecax's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessecax's favorite FMLs

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (2668)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38971) - you deserved it (4684)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11754) - you deserved it (32697)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50671) - you deserved it (9772)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (15393)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (5244)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

#17170835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (3899)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (34385)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (5487)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73575) - you deserved it (7676)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50226) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60050) - you deserved it (12569)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (7550)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

#16391580
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33050) - you deserved it (7570)

On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

#16209782
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/16/2011 at 6:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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