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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3166
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's last visitors

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jesse91's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (1926)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15653) - you deserved it (1658)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (1717)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (5823)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

#20064141
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17059) - you deserved it (9119)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by crabmunch15 - United States (California)

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14657) - you deserved it (9357)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (4588)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17545) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (11507)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10585) - you deserved it (26108)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)



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