About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.
I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.
Get out of my swamp you kids!
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Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (3451)
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (4030)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -
Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (1658)
On 06/24/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by egc573 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17360) - you deserved it (1077)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (906)
On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (2004)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1245)
On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (1016)
On 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Melinie - United States
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17192) - you deserved it (1896)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17771) - you deserved it (1000)
On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy
Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17277) - you deserved it (6122)
On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (3457)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (1345)
On 06/17/2012 at 3:38pm - work - by Megan (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8354) - you deserved it (18992)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (11099)
On 06/17/2012 at 10:58am - love - by rosabelle91 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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