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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1855
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

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jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (3028)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15596) - you deserved it (1562)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7479) - you deserved it (20233)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML

#19989704
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (1342)

On 07/28/2012 at 9:21pm - love - by cheaterscheat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML

#19989164
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15840) - you deserved it (5632)

On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

#19988721
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (1409)

On 07/28/2012 at 5:56am - health - by Insomniac (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

#19987585
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14142) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (1785)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (1077)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (1077)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (3216)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)



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