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Offline (the 12/30/2014 at 10:07am) | Search for a member
About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.
I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.
Get out of my swamp you kids!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML
Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Friday 30 January 2015