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jesse91

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 3:19pm) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5107
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>rybaby23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm

jesse91's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (12586)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (4093)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35985) - you deserved it (3096)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (2574)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (12866)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48529) - you deserved it (3951)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (7534)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (6405)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44497) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (8430)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54485) - you deserved it (8781)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)



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