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jesse91

Offline (the 07/21/2014 at 2:07pm) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3830
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:42am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:21pm<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 1:59pm

jesse91's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16838) - you deserved it (49792)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you deserved it (44601)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (28665)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (5440)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (3893)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (4965)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (45223)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (34710)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I was happily playing with my young niece and nephew. Their grandmother was watching and said, "You are so good with children! Why don't you have any?" My husband died 3 months ago. FML

#18076540
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49903) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/25/2011 at 10:28pm - kids - by kiddoc - United States (New York)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (3154)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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