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jesse91

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jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3859
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:42am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:21pm<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 1:59pm

jesse91's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6580) - you deserved it (50339)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

#18899137
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm - love - by sickandtiredofit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (34566)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (6072)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML

#18840914
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (9625)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (6677)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

#18769470
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9190) - you deserved it (35580)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm - work - by Jim (man) - Belgium

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8417) - you deserved it (57247)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18167) - you deserved it (26191)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41481) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65051) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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