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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1949
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

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jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (5209)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (17687)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you deserved it (4824)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50281) - you deserved it (6943)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

#1998
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (1051)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by theDiva - Malta

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

#1959
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (1478)

On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (11102)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (11102)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5458) - you deserved it (15542)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (6910)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14913) - you deserved it (1837)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16898) - you deserved it (1328)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15516) - you deserved it (1211)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13445) - you deserved it (1506)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (1722)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)



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