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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1858
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

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jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (338328)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

#18143
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74782) - you deserved it (13849)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12383) - you deserved it (36778)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (1851)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (14562)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21322) - you deserved it (2436)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (1967)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18144) - you deserved it (1893)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9451) - you deserved it (15737)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (1641)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (7510)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19720) - you deserved it (1680)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (3006)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)



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