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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3172
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's last visitors

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jesse91's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

#14790484
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (3558)

On 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm - misc - by ad4 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43270) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (4079)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (2311)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

#14784737
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (3993)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by mentallyscarred - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (3438)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

#14754887
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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