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jesse91

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jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3778
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:42am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:21pm<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 1:59pm

jesse91's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

#19226146
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (2654)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (2391)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16347) - you deserved it (42932)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38899) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (4100)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (1837)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (1932)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6199) - you deserved it (35669)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

#19134973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24759) - you deserved it (1822)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by sonofanut - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (2274)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (48795)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States



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