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jesse91

Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 4:07am) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5842
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>rybaby23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm

jesse91's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (3751)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (1593)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

#19879190
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (2709)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (24508)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (4805)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (5589)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (1775)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (1490)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (2949)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (1874)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

#19836485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (1620)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Melinie - United States

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (1609)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (7091)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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