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jesse91

Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 3:36am) | Search for a member

jesse91

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6685
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's page activity

Visits<b>rybaby23</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:52am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:26am<b>hatemyluck</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:23am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 7:16pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 6:29am<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 12:34pm<b>thrAsHeRr9081</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>countrygirl3250</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 12:42am<b>aw3som3sauc3</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:08pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:36am<b>mentalkayse</b> - the 11/18/2012 at 8:31pm<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 09/22/2012 at 6:17pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/13/2012 at 4:50pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 4:39pm<b>nela25</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 6:28pm

jesse91's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (4559)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (28572)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (4266)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (7056)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (4031)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (1600)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

#19879190
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (24574)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (4810)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26507) - you deserved it (5594)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (1819)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (1494)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (3021)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (1877)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States



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