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jesse91

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jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

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jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (2172)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7277) - you deserved it (14398)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29871) - you deserved it (1912)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

#19483512
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (1938)

On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (1904)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (1904)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (1904)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (39862) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (24441)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML

#19449963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (1960)

On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML

#19449963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (1960)

On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

#19448273
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (2172)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (4956)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (35124)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)



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