Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jesse91

Search for a member

jesse91
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3157
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesse91 : I'm a 22 year old gamer who is also interested in psychology, languages, movies, comics and history.

I'm a big fan of Dragon Age, Assassins Creed and Mass Effect, among many others.

Get out of my swamp you kids!

jesse91's last visitors

alexmac222hatemylucklegendaryplyaDaDezza244Tika876thrAsHeRr9081countrygirl3250aw3som3sauc3miwakomentalkayseMiss_Lisaamunzapoppa

jesse91's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of jesse91's badges

jesse91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39821) - you deserved it (4577)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (2383)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (36471)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

#20004451
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (1231)

On 08/05/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by Kolkata - Canada

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19863) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML

#20003754
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (1834)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:20am - love - by exfiancee (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

#20002582
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (1499)

On 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by bellsucker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

#20002371
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (19826)

On 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm - kids - by me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16547) - you deserved it (2069)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26305) - you deserved it (1232)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

#19991008
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5587) - you deserved it (18682)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (3992)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you deserved it (1940)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: